Conflicts can happen to any family at any time and on any issue.
By making conflicts known publicly, it may not serve the greater good of the people and country.
It may not help improve your family, loved ones, and community.
Why not settle these conflicts behind closed doors?
Why not explore all possibilities for wise counsel and mediation?
Resolving such conflicts very often starts with the heart. The heart of any problem is very often a problem of the heart.
It’s the desires of your heart that will influence strength of your relationships and shape and determine outcomes of a conflict.
If there’s no or a lack of desire for peace and being a peace-maker, chances are there’ll be lesser peace in and around your life.
Without a commitment to bridge and bond with others, it’s hard to have amicable relationships and resolutions.
Just as importantly, learn to manage and control the ego.
The ego is in essence an over-consciousness of your being and an unhealthy attachment to it.
If you have an open mind and do not insist that you’re right, you are in a better position to resolve any challenge and build a closer relationship with others.
By not pressing others to go your way, you can find peace within yourself and with others.
Breakthroughs in conflict resolution very often happen when you dare to say you have been wrong before and you can be wrong again.
There are always better ways to achieve better results and you must be open and willing to adopt these ways.
The better ways are sometimes raised and directed by others.
Therefore, do not just expect others to understand you. Seek to understand them first.
Stretch out your hands, develop better conversations, and have better relationships
As you look after their needs, they will also be more willing to look after your needs.
The opposite is also true – when you seek to serve your interests, the other party will also ring-fence themselves and pursue their own interests.
In whatever situation you are in, don’t lose your cool. It will affect your mindset, thoughts and behaviour.
Focus on principle not not on personality, the subject matter and not subject anybody to any form of negativity.
As fellow members of the human race, don’t attack or seek to harm others.
Avoid taking things personally and calling each other names.
Nobody is perfect and our positions and views are constantly evolving and can be changed instantly.
Therefore, be gracious to allow others to change and improve themselves and their positions.
Be mindful about saying words or taking actions that will cause you to regret at a later stage.
Remember, you may not even be able to correct them and set things right for the rest of your life.
During a conflict, if you throw mud at one another, both of you will become muddy.
In the final analysis, even if you cannot prevent every conflict, you can have a more loving heart and a more magnanimous spirit.
At the same time, you can continue to learn, improve, and become more effective in resolving conflicts and challenges.
Life is already too short for enjoying love, joy and peace. Why waste more time on unhealthy conflicts?
Why not pursue peace and help bring about a more peaceful world?
Let us do our part to unite people and bring forth more happiness and harmony to the people around us.
Together, let us step up – not shut down; love – not hate; forgive – not begrudge; heal – not harm; unite – not divide; progress – not regress; and be constructive – not destructive.
Let’s leave the world a better place than when we first step into it.
If necessary, let’s compromise short term personal gains to achieve long term benefits for ourselves and for others too.
Peace is priceless. It begins with each and every one of us.
I hope this message will find a place in your heart.
By the way, I have also recorded other reflections.
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